Truer Than Fiction

My not-so-eventful, everyday life.

My Photo
Location: Gaithersburg, Maryland, United States

Friday, October 12, 2007

Matt + Anesthesia = Amusing

So I had an endoscopy today to check for signs of acid reflux disease, of which there were some. I'm on medication now, so hopefully it will heal pretty quickly, and I won't end up with Barrett's Esophagus. The procedure itself went flawlessly, and I now offer you various quips from when I was coming off the anesthesia. Enjoy.

* The first thing I said after coming to: "I'm depressed. I dreamed about work. It was like I was never here."

* I claimed no less than three times that I had travelled through time. (The procedure was like a blink of an eye. They didn't even tell me they were turning on the anesthesia.)

* I requested that I be allowed to take the anesthesia home with me. My doctor expressed a similar desire for himself.

* Following an enormous belch, I was heard to say, "Sorry, I swallowed a camera."

* I looked at my watch and said, "I'm ready for my procedure." (My procedure was scheduled for 1:45; I was actually done at 1:45.)

* When my wife and I were left alone, I threatened to pull out my electrodes and "flat-line" myself to cause undue distress among the hospital personnel.

* Although I don't remember this one, apparently I yelled at the straw in my juice cup when I was unable to get it in my mouth in a reasonable amount of time.


Blogger Taylor said...

Damn straws...always so uppity and elusive.

6:36 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home